Spring 2020: UK Top 20 Hit Songs Ranked

Here we go again.

When I did the last Seasonal Ranking for Winter 2020, the world was a different place and back then no one knew how severe things were going to get with Covid-19. This is, of course, a blog about music, and the impact on popular music this virus has had is somewhat insane as people seem to be residing in much better music in order to escape or justify our shared fears and uncertainty over the future.

If you don't know how this works, I'll be taking the chart dating 27th March 2020 and ranking the Top 20 songs from worst to best, placing each song in a distinctive tier. For every song in a tier a set amount of points will be awarded, resulting in a total score out of 100 for how good the chart was for that season in my opinion. A quick breakdown of how much each tier is worth, we have Terrible which is +0 points per song; Bad which is +1; Meh which is +2; Decent which is +3; Good which is +4 and Excellent which is +5 points. Hope you enjoy, it should make sense if it hasn't already...

20

"Godzilla"
Eminem ft. Juice Wrld

Chart Position: #10

 

If there’s one thing that Eminem accomplishes with this song, it’s the fact that he inadvertently proves that however impressively fast he raps and however many words he’s able to fit in to a given section, it makes no difference to the quality of the lyrics; for the record, this is essentially three minutes of the most typical bragging with nothing unique to Em’s flow, delivery or lyrics. There are just no redeeming qualities here, from the generic mid-2010’s beat complete with irritating “hey”s to the cheapest-of-the-cheap hi hats that float around at the top of the mix like clouds in a desert that’s not seen rain in a decade. I get that there will be bad songs making it big, but maybe it’s time to let someone else make the bad songs? This just feels so tired and so worthless, and I’m thrilled to say it’s the only song in the Terrible Tier this week.

19

"Intentions"
Justin Bieber ft. Quavo

Chart Position: #9

 

Where “Yummy” was bland, featureless (in both senses) and yet infuriatingly catchy and impossible to ignore, the second single of his dismal album Changes is a little different. Arguably boasting the better beat, “Intentions” is insultingly bad, poorly produced and less bearable with every listen…and yet… it’s so forgettable that its flaws end up balancing out with “Yummy” in my mind and they appear equals in how inconsequentially bad they are. In the case of both songs, the first five seconds is the most interesting and engaging part before the monotonous beats kick in and before Bieber starts singing, but by the time this happens twelve seconds into the song, I’ve already lost interest. I can assure you that his album boasts some active atrocities, the more I think about it, this just isn’t one of those worst moments. It sounds extremely flat and the writing is especially awkward and cringy, but there’s nothing here that’s going to stay with me and keep me engaged in the same way I’ll continuously hate “Godzilla” by Eminem, so I don’t think it deserves the terrible tier.

18

"Boyfriend"

Mabel

Chart Position: #11

 

Despite opening with a reasonably strong, attention-grabbing beat, this song is the perfect example of a gradual and irredeemable drop in quality, accelerated by the nonsense drop and frustrating lyrics. Like so many artists before her, Mabel aims to weave a female empowerment anthem with a derivative and dependent pop song, and the two collide in an embarrassing display of Mabel’s lack of personality. Here in Britain, she has an impressive seven Top 40 hits to her name, and with each one what personality she possessed to distinguish herself as a singer has faded some more. “Boyfriend”, as her most recent single, is the least interesting in all capacities, and the early promise of a good beat feels utterly redundant by the first chorus. Back in early 2018 I was excited to see what she’d release after the fun “Fine Line”, but two years on and I’m struggling to identify a single thing unique or worth keeping around with her music. I wouldn’t be surprised if she falls off the charts around the time of her second album.

17

"Lonely"

Joel Corry

Chart Position: #4

 

There’s not much to say here, this is just another dance-pop track designed to fill Summer playlists and Radio time without really offering much to connect to besides generic uplifting lyrics set to a generic uplifting beat. I’m not going to get cross at this song for being a waste of space, because it’s just the latest in a long line of identical tracks that say and do nothing, I just wish it could compare to Joel Corry’s last hit song, the vastly better “Sorry”, which actually managed to be one of the top (and best) hit songs of last year. For me, it seems like Joel capitalised on the success of his last hit by making something guaranteed to gain the system, and that’s a real shame.

16

"Roses (Imanbek Remix)"
SAINt JHN

Chart Position: #1

 

It is surprising to me that this shell of a song has made it all the way to #1, but I can see the appeal of the aggressive yet bouncy beat. It’s very replayable and a whole lot more engaging in its fragments than a lot of dance tracks making it big right now. What’s keeping me from really caring about this has got to be how incomplete and unfinished it feels, lacking the necessary B-sections to prevent it feeling like anything more than the fun loop it is. I just hope I won’t grow sick of it during it’s inevitable inescapability during the upcoming summer months, because I do not seeing this song fading on the public anytime soon.

15

"Better Off Without You"
Becky Hill

Chart Position: #15

 

In a last-minute change, I decided to put this song at the bottom of the Decent Tier, a decision that I can’t quite explain. Like “Lonely” by Joel Corry, this is just another slightly house-leaning dance song with nothing new or particularly different to praise. Critiquing this song for opening with some painfully plain plucks of synths and pretty weak lyrics that eventually progress to the focal line “it’s not you, it’s me” would be accurate but wholly unfair, predominantly because the connotations of that infamous and cliched line are flipped on its head by Becky Hill’s clarity and self-empowered delivery: she knows exactly what she wants from this relationship and, for as mediocre as the verses may be, I can’t deny the impact of the simple but effective chorus. The song flies by a whole lot quicker than it should, but the fact remains that for as many songs like this Becky Hill herself has released or featured on before (and even given how many of those songs are a whole lot better, more lyrically developed and more instrumentally potent), I’m just glad that this is someone we’re willing to keep around even for the occasional solo hit like this. After all, she’s a whole lot better than Mabel.

14

"No Time To Die"

Billie Eilish

Chart Position: #12

 

I can’t put my finger on exactly why this doesn’t hit me in the same way that Billie’s other ballads do, especially given the incredible grandeur of the orchestral backing and the restrained, gorgeous production and instrumental direction from Finneas. Moreover, the chorus is a phenomenal, scathing attack on this lover, but where the song falls apart for me is the focus on the Bond movie’s title in the lyrics; I get that using it as the title of the song is a classic and common thing to do when making a Bond theme, but the melodrama takes me out of the moment built up the rest of the chorus and I find myself thinking of the emo exaggerations and frustrations of Billie’s earlier works, before her more grounded side took fruition on her album. Of course, this sense of melodrama is a perfect fit for the movie it’s advertising, but I want to be able to enjoy this as a song and not just the advertisement it is, something I could do with Sam Smith’s “Writing’s on the Wall” from the last Bond movie. It’s far from bad, but it’s definitely frustrating and it’s kept from greatness by some small but fundamental flaws.

13

"Falling"
Harry Styles

Chart Position: #20

 

Obviously I appreciate the intensity of Harry’s honesty and sadness here, but for as much as I can appreciate this song it has from the beginning failed to completely click with me, for whatever reason. It’s devastating, it’s personal, but I’ve grown to prefer the title track as a more musically interesting ballad that doesn’t fall prey to some of the stereotypes that “Falling” does as a result of its ultra-stripped-back instrumentation, the solo piano not quite doing enough to compliment the song for me. The bridge is another miss for me, but I’ll be fair and compliment the song for the emotional impact it has.

12

"Say So"

Doja Cat

Chart Position: #7

 

First of all, let’s get this out of the way: this is an obvious sellout move that’s got to where it’s at due to TikTok alone, it blatantly steals from the disco-dipped sound of 80s dance music and it’s produced by a man who does not deserve a career after the inexcusable crimes he’s committed. That out of the way, this is still an enjoyable song that I’ve found a lot of solace in during the insane times we’re living in, and I’m happy to see Doja Cat seeing the beginnings of a successful career in pop music, albeit with her safest and least characteristically weird song yet. It’s shallow, sensual and blissfully fun, but there are alternatives to this specific song that are a whole lot better. More on that soon, as we move into the…

11

"Rain"

Aitch, AJ Tracey

Chart Position: #8

 

I can’t deny, when these two get it right they have made some of the most fun and accessible grime music I’ve ever heard, and this is no exception. From the slightly overdone but commanding piano chords that play throughout the track to producer Tay Keith’s signature riser pulled straight from “Sicko Mode”, this song feels like part of a bridge between British and American hip-hop, admittedly firmly rooted in the Northern grime scene that both of these artists come from. It’s explosive, fun and a whole lot cleverer than you might think, all of which I’ve come to expect from two artists I’ve grown to embrace as staples of UK rap right now.

10

"The Box"
Roddy Ricch

Chart Position: #3

 

The first song thus far to have also appeared on my Winter Ranking, “The Box” has stayed pretty persistently in the Top 10 for a while now, and I’ve definitely grown to appreciate it more, even if the core beat of the song holds it from being great due to how uninteresting it is. It’s Roddy Ricch himself who makes this song worthwhile, stacking the track with different hooks to ensure it doesn’t leave your brain and resulting in a collection of equally fantastic flows that each help to make his specific brand of generic brag-rap seem the most essential.

9

"You Should Be Sad"

Halsey

Chart Position: #16

 

It is a shame that Halsey seems, just as Selena before her, to be unable to fully let go of the relationship that continuously defines her, although if this is the last song that she’s very clearly directed at G-Eazy, then it’s a hell of a way to go. Halsey is an artist that I struggle to fully connect with, primarily due to how pseudo-honest and progressive her music is. She speaks about her work as if it’s at the forefront of some trend or revelation when, as it turns out, her best songs are the ones not shooting for those unobtainable heights. It’s why I loved her single “Strangers” so much, an unashamedly 80s synthpop throwback that worked wonders for her artificial personality. What I never expected was that Halsey would be capable of releasing something as honest and raw as “You Should Be Sad”, a track that sees Halsey discard the goals she claims to achieve in her music in favour of a rough-edged, revealing country-rock ballad that brings out a side to her I had no idea was this engaging, the writing striking the perfect balance between vulnerable and poised. It’s a very good song, but it’s not quite great.

8

"Stupid Love"

Lady Gaga

Chart Position: #18

 

It feels odd to say, but Lady Gaga’s shamelessly materialistic and cheesy pop comeback is better that Halsey’s raw and emotional alternative ballad… Other than that, there’s not much more to say. This is a flawlessly produced throwback to 80s and 90s dance, complete with a chugging retro synth arp and Miley Cyrus-esque ad-libs in the pre-chorus. What makes this stand out for me isn’t the dance-beckoning groove, and nor is it the infectious yet completely hollow writing; rather, what has me interested in revisiting this pop smash is primarily the persistent chopped vocal samples and some of the weird manipulations thrown in here and there that enhance the somewhat harsh tone of the aforementioned synth arp. What it lacks in lyrical depth it more than makes up for in musical layers. Good job Gaga.

7

"Adore You”

Harry Styles

Chart Position: #13

I’m not going to go into too much depth on this one as I talked about it in depth last time, but this is definitely the most effective Harry’s been in retrieving the soulful sounds of 70s pop rock that isn’t afraid to include both nods to Fleetwood Mac and feature a modern tightness to the drums that somehow only enhance the groove.

6

"Physical"

Dua Lipa

Chart Position: #5

 

Another immaculately produced should-be-cheesy pop smash that’s the next step up from Lady Gaga’s “Stupid Love”, this has got to be Dua Lipa’s most fun and upbeat single to date. Considering how she’s built her career on flipping between the spiteful partying akin to Lorde’s Melodrama and the alluring flash in the pan romance of less distinguished personalities, it’s good to see Dua make the latter sound her own without the pitfalls of being derivative that she faced in the past.

5

"death bed"
Powfu

Chart Position: #19

 

Whilst this song definitely falls victim to thinking it’s deeper than it is, it’s incredibly relatable and surprisingly well written (even in its simplicity). Landing somewhere between Loyle Carner’s chilled rap and the trip hop relatablity of Easy Life, this is a song that I’ve learned to love after a relatively short time, showing its replayable side in being one of the only songs I feel comfortable putting on repeat. It’s bound to grow on me more over time, but for now I feel pretty confident placing it in the Good Tier given how it makes a lot out of a little in the best possible way.

4

"Dance Monkey"

Tones & I
Chart Position: #14

Another song I don’t need to go into detail on because I talked about it last time, “Dance Monkey” remains a whole lot more straightforward than people brand it as, and it’s still an example of when individual elements come together to make a better whole, in this case a surface-level positive dance anthem that hides some well-constructed and impressive analogies that illustrate why Tones & I is a great writer, regardless of subtlety.

3

"Blinding Lights"

The Weeknd

Chart Position: #2

Perhaps a little overrated at this point, but like I said last time this is looking to be the “Take On Me” of the 21^st Century and I’m more than okay with that, especially given the timeless, euphoric qualities that The Weeknd brings to this song. What amazes me is that this isn’t even the best song on his new album. Still, this is 80s nostalgia done to perfection, and as unexpected as this was after the aggressive trap beat of “Heartless”, it makes a whole lot of sense given The Weeknd’s tendencies for recreating classic sounds in his own name.

2

"Don't Start Now"

Dua Lipa

Chart Position: #6

Whilst “Physical” stands as a joyous example of Dua dominating the more typical synthpop side of things in glorious technicolour, “Don’t Start Now” will always be superior in my mind for its controlled, irresistible groove courtesy of pounding, poppy drums and what may be the best bassline in a pop song since Charlie Puth’s “Attention”. Back in the Winter Ranking, I said that of Dua Lipa wasn’t the queen of pop now then she would be soon, and I’m happy to announce that it seems as though we’re living in that world now.

1

“In Your Eyes”

The Weeknd

Chart Position: #17

 

This song should probably not be pushed as a single so immediately, as it now seems destined to fall off the charts in typical post-album-bomb fashion, but I’m holding out hope that the public will eventually come to acknowledge this as Abel’s very best pop song and 80s throwback, boasting some stellar synths and a purely artificial yet blissful groove that is perhaps less immediate and demanding as the confrontational “Heartless” or the sparkling “Blinding Lights”, and yet it’s easily my favourite of the three singles. For me, this comes across as the best written, the most personal and consequently the most engaging, a staple of modern pop which will carry me through this troublesome year. The cherry on top is, of course, the undeniable saxophone, a predictable but elevator element that helps this track reach new highs. I really, really hope this sticks around.

So, to sum up this seasonal Top 20 ranking we have...

1 song in the Terrible Tier (+0 points)

2 songs in the Bad Tier (+2 points)

2 songs in the Meh Tier (+4 points)

4 songs in the Decent Tier (+12 points)

8 songs in the Good Tier (+32 points)

And 3 songs in the Excellent Tier (+15 points)

Meaning that the Top 20 for Spring 2020 gets a score of 65/100, an improvement of +14 points from the Winter that shows how greatly the songs in the charts have improved over the course of a short period of just three months. Hopefully there'll be yet more improvement in the Summer, I'm definitely excited to see where pop music goes next.

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Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed the second Seasonal Ranking on my blog. So much has changed since the last one and it's a little bit crazy to think January was even the same year, but I hope you're all doing well (or the best you can) during what some people have dubbed the "coronapocalypse". Stay safe, and use this lockdown to listen to some great music.

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