Charli XCX - how i'm feeling now (Review)

Let's just say I wasn't quite prepared for this one...

Retrospectively, it definitely seems odd that I didn't get around to reviewing Charli XCX's acclaimed album Charli when it came out last September and in fact I didn't get around to talking about it until my Year End lists came out, where not only was the single "Gone" featured pretty high up on my Best Songs list, but the album itself came in as my 5th favourite of the year. Whilst I stand by the commendations I gave the album, I feel as though I may very well have overlooked some of the flaws that the record had. I called it her most consistent project, but that was more an approximation of the album's massive highs and the balance between accessible pop and wild experimentation, something that I will admit I overrated. In reality, the album was hugely personal and futuristic, but it tended to oversell itself without much actual depth or consistent songwriting, and the tracklist was undeniably in need of a trim. With all that in mind, how did how i'm feeling now turn out?

Well, here's the thing... what Charli XCX has here is an album made in the space of a month and with the lockdown limitations of a home studio - and an album that totally exceeds every previous project of hers. With eleven tracks and a runtime of less than forty minutes, there was no danger of this running long, and for the most part its snappy songs and to-the-point lyrics help make this her most immediate and most intimate release to date. Perhaps it will be dated in a post-quarantine world and certainly the knowledge of when this was made helps give the themes of loneliness, isolation and anticipation some necessary context. As I'm reviewing this two months later the quarantine is still going on and this is just as relatable, catching the (static) lightning in a bottle and providing a narrative that encompasses the emotional impact of Covid-19's clutch on the world; Charli's taken the life changing event and looked at the effects it has on herself and her relationships.

Whilst the lyrics and themes are focused firmly on the "now", the instrumentation has its eyes confidently on the future. With producers like Dylan Brady of 100 Gecs taking the helm on a few of these songs, there's no doubt that the sound of this is the maximum amount of chaos, energy and turmoil, all brash clubby synths and ear-assaulting distorted drums pumping out simple but frantic beats. The opening track "pink diamond" is a sonic attack on the brain, and an irresistibly welcome one at that, things hitting an immediate peak before we switch to the slower more existential "forever", a track that switches from instrumental to emotional tension as Charli delivers what has to be her most straightforward love song on the album... and surprisingly my favourite track on here. The sweeping, building synths layer on top of a skittering, off-kilter beat and the pumping bass is lower in the mix and far more muted than on other tracks, converging in a unique atmosphere that morphs between poles like some kind of futuristic yet grounded; twisting yet focused; razor-sharp yet chilled experience that just isn't topped anywhere else - but you'd be mistaken if you thought that meant other songs don't come close.

The aforementioned insanity of "pink diamond" is one shared by "claws" and "c2.0" whilst the emotional side of "forever" is matched by tracks like "detonate" and "enemy", but it's the closing track's balance of the two that pushes it to be a rival to even "forever". "visions" features an incredible instrumental that highlights all the best of the borderless production, whilst the lyrics act as a sort of acceptance of the light at the end of the tunnel, that acceptance then acting as the light at the end of the tunnel. It's the perfect climax, an emotive exit from the constant mental health references, the lovestruck drama, the isolation, the uncertainty and the anticipation.

Overall, this album is a step up from the self titled and arguably her best work, a collection of songs that play off each other really well, without the odd contrasts of the last album or the overpolishing that removed some of the edge. It's an engaging listen and, whilst the lyrics aren't exactly Josh Tillman level, they're definitely an improvement on many of her past works, conveying a lot with a little. I would highly recommend this album to any fans of pop, electronic or just generally experimental music, and I would suggest that you give it the time it needs to sink in. For as immediate as it is, I've found a lot has resonated with me more over time, particularly with the more introspective songs. Yeah, this is great.

8.5/10

Best Tracks: pink diamond; forever; claws; detonate; enemy; anthems; visions
Worst Tracks: i finally understand

Watch the video for "forever"

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"how i'm feeling now"

Charli XCX

15th May 2020

Atlantic

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