Worst Hit Songs of 2020

2020 was a bad year. I don't think I'll be receiving any kind of pushback for a comment like that, as unless you were Elon Musk or Joe Biden, this year was unanimously, unprecedentedly awful. But I'm not here to talk about the world, I'm here to talk about the music, and in this case, pop music. Now, as much as music as a whole has had a fascinating, collectively introspective and surprisingly great output, the sphere of pop music hasn't exactly shared in this prosperity. How bad has it been? Well, let's just say that there were SIX songs from Justin Bieber that could have made this list, and despite that only two of them did. Yeah. THAT'S how bad things were.

I'm well aware that this is sure to be a... contentious list for some people, and so of course I want to preface that this is all subjective, and you love these songs that's completely fine. To clarify, any song that spent more than five weeks in the UK Top 40, and peaked within the Top 20, was applicable for this list, which was an effective way of determining the (roughly) hundred biggest songs of the year. Now, enough preamble, let's dive into my first year end list of 2020, the Top 10...

10

"My Oh My"

Camila Cabello, DaBaby

Peak Position: #13

No, this is not "Havana Pt.2".

Since leaving Fifth Harmony, Camila Cabello has reinforced herself as a sensational solo artist through a slew of inconsistent singles ranging from an assault on the ears (Never Be the Same) to romantic and fun (Señorita), a range of quality that translates into messy, forgettable albums that lack what little star power she has in glimpses on her best songs. Camila's transition into Latin pop music has not been gradual, the success of "Havana" two years ago acting as a turning point for her that initiated an immediate diversion into this direction, her label keen to capitalise on the song's success. Now, I'm not trying to say this was a mistake, Camila is certainly better at selling this style than her previous dance-pop and trap ballads, but that doesn't mean every song works.

"My Oh My" doesn't work.

Let's start with the beat. It's stiff. Really stiff. Not only are the handclaps hollow and metallic, a distraction from the music you're going to wish I hadn't pointed out, but the bassline sounds like it's been pulled out of an Eminem song (ha, more on that later) and its awkward movements and incredibly low tone prevent it from providing the slow, sensual groove it was intended to. Moving now to the vocals, it's no secret that I don't think highly of Camila's voice, but I want to make it clear that it's her lack of range and the strained, ugly falsetto that I take issue with, neither of which are present here. No, the vocals that frustrate me on this track are the backing vocals, the "my oh my"s that try desperately to disguise the weak melody of the chorus, essentially acting as the song's hook but failing to convey any of the fun that "Havana" had in spades. No, it isn't her worst song, but for me it's been a constant thorn in my side and that about earns it a place on this list.

9

"Yummy"

Justin Bieber

Peak Position: #5

I was half tempted just to paste the lyrics to the song for this segment, and I do believe they speak for themselves, but I figured that would be more likely to turn people away than draw them in, so here goes. When I initially reviewed this song, I described it as an embarrassing, hilarious failure on Bieber's part, and as a song that's biggest flaw was ironically how flavourless it is. That was before hearing it on the radio wherever I went, and before my sister began singing this on a daily basis. The chorus to this song is drilled into my brain, a permanent tattoo I never asked for, a grotesque mould I can't remove, an infestation that poisons me slowly.

Outside of that painful, repetitive, monotonous, cringy-to-the-point-of-insanity-and-uncontrollable-nervous-laughter chorus, this song is one of Bieber's many attempts at the genre of R&B, a style of music he has persisted at being a part of throughout his career, but one he is doomed never to fulfil due to one, inescapable flaw. His voice conveys the least amount of emotion, of passion, of any singer. He is, in fact, tragically uncompelling, and even in his most heartfelt ballads he manages to sound entirely robotic. The line "I'm elated that you are my lady" is a fantastic example of this, the lack of... well, lack of anything just speaking measures. Let's move on. From Bieber I mean. We don't need to keep him around you know, he's not exactly necessary to pop music.

8

"If The World Was Ending"

JP Saxe, Julia Michaels

Peak Position: #14

I feel genuinely sorry for the people who have been manipulated into liking this song's pseudo-emotion. Ah yes, the ballad, an inescapable staple (try saying that 10 times) of mainstream music that transcends genre, bringing people together to share in the love and sadness of the singer, spouting such vague and relatable lyrics to appeal to the widest demographic without saying anything of substance, and adding nothing new to the table. But, but, but, it has pianos! Pianos! Ah yes, one of two instruments that every ballad MUST be based around, the piano.

I could go on to describe just how generic this song is, but that would be missing the point. You see, I detest this song, and being generic just isn't the cause of my hatred here. No, what I really hate is the story to this song. You see, these two people have left each other a while ago, they admit that they're not right for each other, that they weren't even really that committed to the other ("you weren't down for forever", "weren't meant for each other"). But, something changes. The world is ending. Now you'd come over... right?! So, on your last day on Earth, you would choose to spend it with a person you don't like thinking about because it "rips your heart out", but who you assure me multiple times isn't meant for you. What? Do you love each other or not? 

The thing that gets me most is they're singing the same thing, but they're clearly not singing to each other, making this the least interesting duet ever. If you're going to bring in another person, at least give another side to the story, another dimension to make things more interesting. Instead, both singers, neither of which have great voices, are in identical situations, which just leads me to the worst thing. That single word at the end of many, many lines of this song that undermines everything they are (and aren't) saying. "Right?" How pathetic these two human beings are. Of course the song turned out this bad.

7

"Godzilla"

Eminem ft. Juice WRLD

Peak Position: #1

We let this get to number one?

Look, I'm not going to pretend I have much to say about this song, because everything I'm about to say has already been said, including by me way back in April. Eminem should not still be making music. No, I'm not saying all people of a certain age should stop making music, just look at William Basinski, Damon Albarn, or Grace Jones. What I'm saying is that over the past fifteen years, Eminem has consistently put out terrible albums that only seem to be getting worse, proving with each subsequent release how unnecessary he has become.

The greatest problem I have with his music is Em's prioritisation of fast rapping over good rapping, something that seems curiously tied to white rappers. Yes, I get it, you're rapping really fast, you're breaking records of how many words you can fit in a short space of time but That's. Not. The. Point. I don't care how many words you can fit in, I care about the words you're saying, and as it happens Eminem fails to say anything remotely new or interesting, failing not only to distinguish new songs from old but failing to differentiate himself from newer brag rappers following in his wake. It's out of touch, it's cringy and it shouldn't have a place in 2020. Please, Em, just retire.

6

"Savage Love"

Jason Derulo, Jawsh 685

Peak Position: #1

This song rivals "Yummy" in terms of its inescapability, but unlike "Yummy" this had longevity, and one of the biggest presences on the charts all year. You see, Jason Derulo as a person is not unlikeable, but Jason Derulo as a musician has essentially become a more PG Chris Brown, only his voice is worse (you didn't think I'd miss a chance to criticise his pig-squealing falsetto did you?), and his songs are far more catchy, which in this case is definitely a criticism considerately how I want nothing more than to forget and ignore this song's existence.

The question is, what about "Savage Love" sets it apart from his other songs? This wasn't Derulo's only hit this year, and yet it has easily become one of his absolute worst, and a big part of that is how equally memorable and irritating the instrumental to this is. The main melody is provided by a horn that sounds like it was sampled from a baby toy, bringing new meaning to the descriptors "thin" and "plastic". Not only is this melody a brand that's about as drilled into my head as the chorus to "Yummy", but Derulo seemed to decide it would be a good idea to make his main vocal melody the exact same as the horn. So we get twice the squeak, and yes, double the pain.

Finally, I want to critique the story and lyrics to this song. Derulo has found himself in a situation whereby this girl is using him to spite her ex, and not only this but she's cheating on Derulo, and it's clear Jason's desperation that she isn't planning on sticking around. Despite all this, Derulo is trying his hardest to win her over, because he truly cares for her. "You can use me" he wails, a line that would maybe hold some weight on another song with another singer, but here is the culmination, the apex if you will, of the deplorable lyrics that he provides. Alright, I'm done. And I didn't even mention the trend-pandering use of the word "savage". 

5

"Falling"

TREVOR DANIEL

Peak Position: #14

This is worse than blackbear. We really are falling.

Who is Trevor Daniel? Who cares. I don't have the confidence to say this will be his only hit song, but I really don't see how he could build any kind of career off of this. This song is the least ambitious on this list, the least distinct, the least unique, the least interesting. All these "qualities" (or lack thereof) should point to one thing - mediocrity. I wish that were the case. No, instead, "Falling" by Trevor Daniel is an abomination of modern pop music, and one that could only come about in the exact current landscape, with TikTok as the biggest influence on popular music and the obsession with looping, repetitive, short phrases that can sound interesting in a fifteen second clip, and serve no real purpose outside of that.

I want so bad to call this song apathetic. On the surface, that's exactly what it is. There's nothing new in the dark, trap production, nothing new in the moody, atmospheric synths and guitar line, a staple of this kind of downbeat pop since 2016, nothing new in his whiny, vocals or in the braggadocios-and-or-insulting lyrics. Except, wait a minute, that's not true. The lyrics aren't braggadocios, and neither are they insulting in the same way blackbear's "hot girl bummer" was. In fact, despite the atmosphere, this isn't even a generic sad rap or pop song. It's a lovesong. And it's absurdly self-centred, hollow in its depressive undertones and really poorly written. 

In fact, it doesn't even attempt to disguise the sexism, the main line in the song spelling it out in bold - he wasn't ever going to try again, but when he "saw you [he] felt something [he'd] never felt". So, clearly Trevor seeing this girl unlocked some kind of love for her, right? No. That's just not how love works. This is wrought with sadboy clichés, which is something of an achievement given the focus of the song. No Trevor, you aren't broken, and you aren't exactly the first person to say you'll "never love again" before immediately, you know, loving again. At least next time don't do it all in the same song.

4

"GOOBA"

6ix9ine

Peak Position: #6

I really don't want to talk about this song; however, I have things that I need to say, so here goes:

6ix9ine should be in prison. For what he did, he should not be someone that ANYONE is welcoming back onto the charts, let alone for a Top 10 hit. Even if it was inevitable that he would come back, the fact that he was allowed to do so without any kind of significant retribution, nor any kind of repentance on his part, reflects worse on the community that have accepted him back than on him. The truth is that he is back, and as much complaining as I could do it isn't going to change it. In fact, this is easily one of 6ix9ine's best songs to date, but separating the art from the artist just isn't possible when everything within his music references his actual life, and the criminal acts he commits.

That said, this song might be one of his best, but it's far, far away from being a good song. Firstly, 6ix9ine is a terrible performer. His whole schtick is being an abrasive, loud rapper, and in that regard very little has changed from his previous songs. What has changed is what's underneath his atrocious vocals, where you can find a decent beat, some simple but pleasant synths and a frustratingly cheap sounding snare. With another rapper, this could have been forgettable. The problem is, we didn't get another rapper, we got 6ix9ine, and if you really want to listen to this song then I can promise you it speaks for itself.

3

"Dancing in the Moonlight"

Jubel ft. NEIMY

Peak Position: #11

To explain this placement, I probably have to explain my position on the song being covered. Everybody knows Toploader's "Dancing in the Moonlight", itself a cover of the original by King Harvest, and everybody loves the Toploader version, a staple of 00's pop music that has stood the test of time to become of the most beloved party songs. I hate it. If you know me, this probably isn't much of a surprise, just another one of my annoying controversial opinions, but the truth is that when I say I hate this song, I really do mean it.

The lyrics of the chorus have always felt incredibly cringy to me, the outmoded expression of "such a fine and natural sight" failure to hold up on modern renditions of the song, and any interpretation as to the lyrics as a whole are either party-centric and nonsensical, which I apparently detest, or they're a John Lennon level of pretentious and ignorantly for togetherness, which I definitely detest. Honestly though, it doesn't even matter, and this chilled dance cover does nothing for the song, replacing the instrumentation with something far more bland and less annoying, consequently sounding like it was taken straight out of 2014 when this brand of dance music was huge. Perhaps it's a step up from the Toploader version, but mostly my hatred still stands.

2

"Lonely"

Justin Bieber, benny blanco

Peak Position: #17

This is Justin Bieber's most self aware song. It's also his worst. What fun.

On a surface level, this a ballad from Justin Bieber. He's done those before, they've not been great, but they've not been worthy of a place so high on a Worst of the Year list. You might assume that this isn't too different from "If The World Was Ending", that my problems with both would be the same. That's not true. This is so much worse. You see, for as much as the overplay of songs like "Yummy" and "Savage Love" helped shape my distaste for them, that's a piece of context specific, although not exclusive, to me. There will be people who have never heard either song, and who that piece of context means nothing to. With "Lonely" however, the key piece of context applies to everything.

This song centres on Justin Bieber feeling isolated and alone, because everybody knows him, but no one really gets him you know. In fact, although the premise is a pretty standard emo rich kid situation, but in Bieber's case the story really is quite sad. His fame, it really did mess him up, and the insights of this song do come across as genuine. His sorrow is real, and for once in his life he was able to convey some of that emotion into his music. But none of that matters. It all comes undone with, you guessed it, context. This song could have landed, in any other year it could have worked. 

The problem is it came out in 2020 and, in 2020, Bieber has already put out an album. An album that spent the majority of its time with Bieber celebrating his marriage to Hailey Baldwin, a marriage that has continued to prosper, and a marriage that we would be reminded of throughout most of his singles, from "Intentions" to "Stuck With U" to "Yummy", and perhaps worst of all from two EPs he released this year, one titled Work from Home, the other Couple Goals, for both selecting five songs from his most recent album, and re-releasing them as an EP simply to brag about his relationship. I'm sorry Justin, but any complaint of loneliness balanced against your perpetual happiness with your wife and your content to spent all your time with her over lockdown ("Stuck With U", it's almost as bad) is the ultimate way you've undermined everything that "Lonely" tries to be. What's more, the singing is bad, the backing piano is insultingly basic and all he does is highlight just how rich and privileged he is, making it come across as even more whiny, and even more insufferable.

What's could possibly be worse than "Lonely"? Why, it's "Supalonely" of course!

1

"Supalonely"

BENEE ft. Gus Dapperton

Peak Position: #18

Throughout the year, I have been baffled by the consensus on this song. Every critic I follow seemed to have nothing but praise for this song, and I was left alone in my hatred for a piece of pop music that probably shouldn't have garnered such a negative reaction from me, but here we are several months later and it's my least favourite hit song of the year. You've likely noticed the common themes that underpin my other selections for this list, most songs falling into at least one of the following categories: unpleasant to listen to, having poor lyrics, and being decreased by context. Well, it's only fitting that my #1 would suffer from all three.

For most people, the sound of this song is the first thing that they will praise. What's not to love? It's an eighties throwback, a slick synth-funk song, danceable and well-produced... right? Well, no. In 2020, the nostalgia for the 80s present in pop music since the start of the last decade reached a new peak, with many of the year's biggest songs and artists taking the cue and making songs in this vein, with big acts like The Weeknd and Dua Lipa contributing to the trend, whilst rising artists like Doja Cat and Conan Gray also had notable singles that explored this sound, although interestingly it was these smaller artists that typically played into the style without altering or adding to it, providing a slew of mediocre songs that did nothing to distinguish themselves from the masses. "Supalonely" is one of these songs.

So, upon failing to grab me musically, the next place I'll look is of course the writing. I can comfortably say the lyrics are the worst part of this song. I've established with "Falling" my distaste for empty sadboy songs, but with the rise of "edgy" artists like Billie Eilish paralleling the rise of TikTok, the sadboy tropes have grown to be a widespread movement whereby depression and sadness have become cool, desirable features that are utilised to fuel people's desires for attention - how incredibly healthy. Of course, these themes can provide a basis for truly excellent and insightful lyrics, but that's just not what we're provided on "Supalonely".

"I'm a sad girl / in this big world / it's a mad world"

Could you get more generic than that? You may well argue that if I take a look into the verses I'll find more substance, but all I found were basic metaphors for feeling pressure and this fragment of gold: "Now I'm in the sad club / just tryna get a back rub". Ladies and gentlemen, humans and beasts, I present to you the lyrical genius of BENEE, just your average relatable "sad girl in a big world" with another quality line. What doesn't help is her pronunciation of all the ad-libs, their delivery seeming to indicate she's somehow proud of her loneliness. Even if that's trying to be ironic, I can't get around the emphasis she has on certain words, and her pronunciation of the titular word "supalonely" has got to be one of her worst offences.

Yes, to me this song is a product of everything I hate about the nostalgic lean in pop, TikTok culture, and modern pop trends, all wrapped up in a neon package sold by two annoying vocalists and a squeaky-clean pastiche of an instrumental, but fear not! This is but one side of hit songs in 2020, and the good news is there isn't long to wait for the opposite - my FAVOURITE hit songs of the year, which I'm aiming to have out on boxing day.

Thanks so much for reading, now stay tuned, stay safe, and I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!

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